First Class, Up in the Sky

As we sat on the runway at LAX waiting to depart for Melbourne, VIC, I looked around at my fellow passengers whom I'd be spending the next 16 hours with. I was in the middle seat, in the very back section of the lower level. I noticed the last row was 88 so naturally I felt compelled to do the math. I leaned up, looked across the row. Three seats on the left. Four in the middle, where I sat. Three seats on the right. 10 seats times 88 rows = 880. WTF? There were more people sitting on this plane with me than were in my hometown growing up! That didn't even count the business class and first class seats on the upper level. This plane was massive, but I felt claustrophobic.

Qantas A380

It was 11:30p so this night owl wasn't quite tired yet. I decided to watch a movie before I popped my sleeping pill, silenced the world with my hot pink earplugs, and strapped the eye pillow with silky stars and moons across my face. Yes, I look ridiculous when I fly.

I ended up watching 3 movies on the flight over, but the first was Sex and The City II. Shan, Mon and I were supposed to go watch that together when it came out...Life got in the way so I found myself watching it sandwiched between an overweight 40-something man and a sweet little 70-something woman. During the course of the 16-hour flight, I caught both of them watching the movie as well. I wanted so bad to watch the little old lady watching some of Samantha's racier scenes, but I fell asleep. Thank you Ambien CR for helping me avoid an awkward moment somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.

I have to rave about Qantas. The food. Fantastic. The snacks. Never-ending. The service. Top notch. In-flight entertainment technology. thebomb.com. The booze in coach. Free flowing.

Maybe it was the combination of red wine, Xanax and Ambien or maybe it was the fact that I was on my way to see a very delicious Aussie, but that 26-hour trip halfway across the world to another hemisphere was as doable as the Aussie.

You had me at "hello."

Crystal sends me my horoscope on occasion...mostly when I'm feeling less than my best, getting bogged down in the details or just anxious about something particular. I was having one of those days yesterday.

She sent me this:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Focus on what's small and slippery, Leo. Turn your gaze away from what's big and obvious. Exult in the salamander on the rock and a friend who has a new trick and the guilty pleasure you just discovered; excuse yourself from obsessing about the state of the economy, the meaning of life, and the clash between science and religion. Your pleasurable duty is to love what's in the midst of changing, and not fixate on trying to make arrangements that will supposedly last forever. Don't just grudgingly attend to the mercurial details; dive in as if playing with them were your central purpose.

I dig it when the Universe crafts the perfect message for us and then delivers it in the most peculiar of ways. Sometimes it's in an email from your sister. Other times it's in a conversation you overhear in an elevator or an interaction you see across the street while sitting in traffic on your way home from work. Occasionally it's even in losing something (or someone) you love.

It feels a little trippy at first when the message sent is received. Of course, the more you think about and process how everything and everyone is connected it blows your fuckin' mind. Life is a fascinating voyage. How could you not LOVE that?!?

Oh, Universe! You complete me.

My Dearest Sadie

I remember the day we met. It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was less than enthusiastic about making a pit stop in a trailer park in the backwoods of East Texas. However, when I got out of the car you hobbled over on your three good legs so happy to have company. It was love at first site. A few hours later I'd convinced the idiots inside the trailer to let me take you home so I could give you the life you deserved. That was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

You and Leo were fast friends and the best snuggling duo I'd ever seen. Before long I couldn't fathom how I'd lived my life without you. I'll always cherish those lazy afternoons when the three of us would squeeze into my cozy over-sized chair. I'd watch movies with the volume a little too loud and Leo would snore like a grown man. But not you...you snored like a delicate flower. After we lost Leo you're sweet little snore brought me comfort. Thank you for that.


I know Leo was always an attention hog and you were always willing to play second fiddle. When we were sitting together on the couch he'd just plop down on your head and make you move. I would get so mad at him, but you'd just sigh that heavy sigh of yours and move without a fuss. You only fought with Leo about things that mattered most - breakfast, dinner and the snacks in between. You were Miss Independent. And when it came to love and affection things were always on your terms. It would drive me crazy when you'd sit just out of reach of me and paw at me to pet you. I'd ask you to move closer, but you wouldn't budge (or you'd move to the opposite end of the couch). I always repositioned myself closer to you to give you love. You knew I would. Every time. You stubborn little shit. Crystal and Mom always remind me that you and I are the same. I think the Universe just knew we'd "get" each other and made sure we crossed paths.



The last 10 months of your life meant so much to me. We both missed Leo and I know it was a hard transition for the two of us. Your sweet face and affection kept me from losing my mind. I'm so very thankful I had the opportunity to shower you with the love and attention you'd deserved your whole life. I broke all of my rules with you and thank goodness I did! If I'd have known how little time we'd have together I would've let you sleep with me every single night. I loved our road trips. I was sad to take your little purple blanket and leash out of my car a few days ago. (This picture was your second to the last trip to the vet...The last one was really scary).


You might have been born in the trailer park, but you were a star and people loved you. I enjoyed taking you places so much. You always made friends, acted like a lady and were the center of attention. Those are three things you just can't teach...you've either got it or you don't. Sadie, my dear, you had "it" and you didn't need a pedigree to prove it!


It's been a hard transition living without you. I spilled rice on the kitchen floor last week and fully expected you to jingle over and hoover it up. It took me 10 minutes to find a broom and another 5 to figure out how to use it. When I get home from work in the afternoons I miss rounding the corner and seeing your pretty face pop up off of your orange bed. I miss "woohoo-ing" because we're so excited to see each other. I miss telling you every morning, "Good-bye Sadie. Mama loves you. You be sweet today." I miss the way you sat on your fat little butt.


Sadie Louise Nuding, you have brought more joy to my life than I can ever say. My heart is bursting with love for you and I am eternally grateful for the 10 wonderful years we spent together. I'm excited to meet up again in our next life. Until then, good-bye Sadie. Mama loves you. Give Leo sugars for me and y'all be sweet.

Sadie's big debut

Okay, so maybe it's not that big, but Sadie's picture is being used on a hip little Austin pet store's website. http://www.austinloftydog.com/index.shtml

Dear Princess Tawanda:

It has been brought to my attention yet again that I'm too awesome to date. I'm too good, yet again, for another man in my life. Don't misinterpret...these are not my words. I don't believe that I'm too 'outstanding' - too 'successful' - too much of a 'bad ass' - too 'strong' - or 'too good' for anyone. Who knew when I was a little girl my Daddy should have told me to tone down my awesomeness or I'd grow up to be a beautiful, lonely woman. Shame on him.

Surely I'm not alone.?.? I can't be the baddest mother fucker out there, can I? (I felt sure Oprah Winfrey or Ana Kournikova would hold said title.) When I finish writing this I'm going to Wikipedia myself. As I'm told, the first word I'll find next to my name is outstanding. Following that will be amazing, intelligent, the smartest person he knows (granted, I'm not so sure that one will stand up in a court of law), confident, hilarious, interesting, beautiful and the ability to make him putty in my hands (that one is kind of fun). If that's the case, I'll accept my reign as baddest mother fucker on the planet and wear my crown with pride. I guess it really is lonely at the top.

Wait a minute...Does this mean I can finally register at Nordstrom's and be the one receiving the party and lavish gifts for the first time in my life?!?! Hmmmm. Maybe this isn't so bad after all.

My dearest, thank you for letting me bend your ear. And my apologies on the infrequency of my correspondence. You know it's hard out here for a pimp.

Your gracious and loving pen-pal,
Anna Danna

Holiday - Amsterdam - Part II

My apologies to Shanda for the delay in sharing this post. I've been too busy playing the role of important marketing executive and all-around mover and shaker. I vow to be better.

Now...for the rest of the story. And, I'm making this more photo montage, less words...because frankly I don't remember a lot.

Leslie, Tayar and I bellied up to a little bar to thaw out and formulate a plan. There we met Terrence, the sweet, young bartender who gave us the clif's notes on public transportation and the fastest route to the red light district.
Our first stop in the red light district was, you guessed it, a coffee shop. Tayar and I tasted the local fare and the rest is history.

Stoner's Paradise
More local fare...
C-Team Sex Show...To protect the innocent I'll tell you the story in person.
Followed by the A-Team Sex Show across the canal...more stories I will not put in print (until I publish my book).

I don't have a picture of our cab driver that got arrested for hitting a bike cop with his car. It all happened so fast I didn't dare reach for my camera when they began pepper spraying him in the face and bitch slapping him out of the cab. I also failed to capture a hot pic of Leslie pushing the police chief in the chest asking him, "Does that hurt? 'Cuz that's how hard the car hit her." *sigh* I miss all the good stuff.

When No One Is Looking

I dance and jump around the kitchen singing to Sadie that "I can have wine if I want to...I'm a grown-up."