It has been brought to my attention yet again that I'm too awesome to date. I'm too good, yet again, for another man in my life. Don't misinterpret...these are not my words. I don't believe that I'm too 'outstanding' - too 'successful' - too much of a 'bad ass' - too 'strong' - or 'too good' for anyone. Who knew when I was a little girl my Daddy should have told me to tone down my awesomeness or I'd grow up to be a beautiful, lonely woman. Shame on him.
Surely I'm not alone.?.? I can't be the baddest mother fucker out there, can I? (I felt sure Oprah Winfrey or Ana Kournikova would hold said title.) When I finish writing this I'm going to Wikipedia myself. As I'm told, the first word I'll find next to my name is outstanding. Following that will be amazing, intelligent, the smartest person he knows (granted, I'm not so sure that one will stand up in a court of law), confident, hilarious, interesting, beautiful and the ability to make him putty in my hands (that one is kind of fun). If that's the case, I'll accept my reign as baddest mother fucker on the planet and wear my crown with pride. I guess it really is lonely at the top.
Wait a minute...Does this mean I can finally register at Nordstrom's and be the one receiving the party and lavish gifts for the first time in my life?!?! Hmmmm. Maybe this isn't so bad after all.
My dearest, thank you for letting me bend your ear. And my apologies on the infrequency of my correspondence. You know it's hard out here for a pimp.
Your gracious and loving pen-pal,
Anna Danna
You are a bad ass Mother-Fer! I love you! The problem is them not you and your Daddy did a damn good job.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Oprah is a big deal too. I don't mean to point out the obvious but she's single too. Sometimes being fabulous is hard for others, especially men who aren't confident or secure. If that's the company you keep I say go Jo go!
You are, INDEED, the shit, lady. And you can quote me in your Wikipedia entry.
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